Sunday, February 3, 2008

Superheroes

Dear Madame Toujours,


I am an Extra-abled American, and I take exception to last week's column in which teenage boys made vulgar and graphic remarks about the romantic relationships of "superheroes." This kind of prurient speculation about people of other races and abilities is bigoted and offensive.


Extra-abled Americans are an oppressed race. We have to keep our true identities secret just to be able to live some semblance of a normal life. Super-villains taunt us and try to lure us into traps by terrorizing entire cities. Religious fundamentalists call us witches and demons and either try to convert us or take away our citizenship. Then we get hassled for having nerdy alter-egos and can't retaliate because our Extra-abled code of ethics forbids using our powers against those who are weaker than we are.


Please make it clear to your readers that making insulting speculations about Extra-abled Americans is not acceptable. We suffer enough discrimination without adding insult to injury.


The culprits in this case may be only teenage boys, but it is never too early to learn empathy and respect for the privacy of others.


Sincerely,

El Humongo


Cher M. Humongo,


You are bringing forward the very important points. In the current social climates, it is becoming very difficult for the white, male persons to be finding the safe topics for the vulgar, sexual remarks. It is not any longer being acceptable to be having the vulgar conversations about the females or the persons of the other races because everybody is being very offended. This is a very good thing for the females and the other racial persons, but it is unfortunately very stressful for the white, male persons who are wishing to have the frank and graphic conversations of the sexual nature in public.


However, the white, male persons are feeling comfortable to be making the offensive remarks about the persons who are having the special powers and abilities. This is because the young, male persons are not having any special powers or abilities themselves, so they are supposing that the persons with special powers are superior to themselves. They feel, very naturally, that the person who is able to leap over tall buildings and crush small locomotives is too powerful to be offended by the speculations about the sexual prowesses.


It is important for the young, male persons to remember that in addition to annoying sensible persons such as girls, they cannot be knowing whether any of the classmates are the superheroes who will be offended by the personal remarks and possibly retaliate by using the telekinetic powers to cause the "atomic wedgies" when the obnoxious persons are least expecting.


Bon Chance, M. Humongo, and if I am not being too bold to be suggesting that possibly you will be discouraging many of the excessively personal remarks if you are perhaps changing for yourself the name.

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