Classroom Cutups

Dear Madame Toujours,

I read your last column, and I think I might have been sexually harassed last week in my tenth grade trigonometry class. See, I was sitting with my friends Heather and Jennifer. We were starting our homework so we could get done early and go to the mall after school.

Ernie Codswallop and Court Plumber were sitting in the next row talking about superheroes. They are kind of nerds, and they are always talking about something boring like that and trying to get Heather and Jennifer and me to talk about boring stuff, too. I don't want to be rude and hurt their feelings, so I mostly pretend I don't hear them which would be rude and mean if it were anybody else, but Ernie and Court seem to think it means I really like them a lot. Maybe because the popular kids are really mean to them, so being ignored actually seems nice.

The thing is, they got to talking about superheroes and, you know, sex, and how different superheroes...well, it was kind of gross, and it made me feel uncomfortable, and Jennifer and Heather were giggling which just encouraged them, and I kept kicking Heather under her chair and whispering for her to stop encouraging them, but she kept giggling only she had this kind of desperate look in her eyes like a rabbit in the headlights of a car.

Ernie and Court kept trying to get my attention, but I just kept ignoring them and taking deep breaths so I wouldn't blush so much.

Is this sexual harassment, and what should I have done about it?

Sincerely,

Exasperated

Chere Mlle. Exasperated,

Possibly, Mssrs. Ernie and Court are only being the big nerds and thinking that everybody is being very amused by the talking about the superheroes.

The correct thing is to say gently, "Mssrs., that is being the very distasteful subject, and I am trying to do the homeworks." If they are only the big nerds, they will make the few jokes to save the faces, and then they will desist in the obnoxiousness. If they are continuing with the offensiveness, then they are the big, obnoxious jerks, and you may be referring to the previous column for the correct procedures.

You are correct to observe that the unfortunate giggling of the friends is encouraging the nerd persons to continue with the distasteful remarks. However, this is possibly not to mean they are enjoying the talking about the sexual habits of the superheroes. Very many times, the young female persons, they are having the giggling when they are uncomfortable. This is not as sensible as firmly explaining to the offensive persons that the obnoxious behaviors are being very distasteful, or even as sensible as smacking the offensive persons very sharply on the back of the head, but clearly Mlles. Heather and Jennifer are not having the self-possession that you are enjoying.

Bon Chance, Mlle. Exasperated, and possibly you are wishing to consider the sedatives for the friends before you are going to the classes.