Bossy Boyfriend

Dear Madame Toujours,

My legs were paralyzed in a car accident when I was a child, and I never thought I would ever meet a man who could love me. Then I met Neil, and it was like a miracle. We fell in love and moved in together. Neil always knows how everything should be done. It makes me feel safe to know my life is such good hands. I had no idea there were so many things I was doing wrong!

The problem is my best friend since second grade, LeighAnn. She lives in the same apartment building as Neil and me, and Neil has been really great about helping and supporting her.

If LeighAnn would just take Neil's advice, they would get along fine, but she is too stuborn. She insists on going to her book club sweeping her floor from left to right, doing her shopping in the morning and leaving her dinner dishes to wash after breakfast.

Neil is just trying to help, but LeighAnn won't speak to him any more, so he had to start calling her family and her boss at work whenever she does something the wrong way. He had to call so often, LeighAnn's boss has threatened to fire her if she doesn't make Neil stop. I told her Neil would stop if she would just do things the way says. LeighAnn said she can't see me anymore unless I break up with Neil.

I don't think this is fair. If she really cared about me, she would try to get along with Neil. Neil says LeighAnn and I were never really friends, so I guess I was wrong to think we were.

Sincerely,

Torn

Chere Mlle. Torn,

Clearly you are forgetting the very important rule about never having the romance for the persons that your friends are not liking.

Eh bien, if you are wishing to be keeping the friends, you must learn to be keeping M. Neil too busy to be annoying them. This is being very simple. You must be making the big point to never do anything the way M. Neil is telling you. There is no point to be trying to do everything the way M. Neil is telling you anyway. Every time you are learning to do everything the way he is liking, he is saying you are stupid to be doing it that way and you should be doing it differently.

Possibly this not providing enough of the entertainments to keep M. Neil completely away from the friends. In this case, you should pretend to be more helpless and inadequate than he already thinks you are. You are knowing you are successful when M. Neil is making the exasperated sound and insisting that if you are not being able to brush for yourself the teeth, he will have to be doing it for you.

Bon Chance, Mlle. Torn. In the little time, M. Neil will be too happy controlling everything about your life to be annoying for you the friends.