Casting Your Vote

Dear Madame Toujours,

I am really struggling with my choice for the democratic candidate for president, and I think you are probably the only possible person who could help me with my choice.

Here's my difficulty: Barak Obama is a charming, personable man with many fine qualities, and I agree with many of his positions, and he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. The thing is, I really believe our country needs a strong man to lead us out of the mess we've gotten ourselves into, and I just can't help feeling that Hillary is that man. I mean, she's got a plan, she's organized, she's tough and compassionate, she's a staunch Methodist, and she's got loads of experience.

On the other hand, she's also got Bill. I mean, he's a charming man, but do we really want him roaming around the country getting up to who knows what mischief? I mean some of things he's been saying on the TV! Poor Hillary. Still, can't she keep him on a leash, and if she can't manage her husband, can she really manage an entire country?

And by the way, what is this business where people call her "Hillary?" When her husband was campaigning, everybody referred to him as "Clinton." Is this some kind of discrimination? Are people not taking her seriously because she's a woman? Does this mean she is weak? And how long before we can elect Chelsea--I mean Ms. Clinton Jr.?

Sincerely,

Perplexed

Chere Mme. Perplexed,

Oui, c'est tres difficile the important decisions for the running of the country. Who to be voting for, what to be voting for, whether the husband of Mme. President is an ornament to the nation.

Moi, I cannot be making for you the important personal political decisions, but possibly, I can be helping for you to clarify the crucial issues.

Bien sur, the sensible females are always being attracted to the gentle fellows with the warmth and the compassions. You can be marrying him with the impugnities. Possibly, he is the excellent candidate to be the warm and compassionate husband for the nation.

However, possibly, you are having the correctness to be wishing for the strong female type who is whipping the nation into shape. Naturally, you are looking at the husband for the example of the competence of the wife.

However, I am suggesting that you are glancing across the living room at the husband who is sitting in the La-z-boy with the "Cheetos" crumbs on the facial whiskers and the beer propped on the belly. Now look at the husband of Mme. Clinton. Suddenly, Mme. Clinton, she is looking very competent, n'est pas? Nobody is controlling the husband. He is mostly the undomesticated animal who is making you proud if he is not scratching himself lewdly in the public venues.

Bon Chance, Mme. Perplexed, and as for the question of the correct address for Mme. Clinton, yes, it is the cultural practice to be addressing the female types very often by the given names. This is the expression of the charm and warmth, and nobody is much caring as long as they are addressing her as Madame PRESIDENT Hillary.