Dear Madame Toujours,

Well, it has finally happened. My boyfriend of the past three years has finally asked me to marry him. Madame Toujours, I just don't know. For one thing, my three teenage sons are not particularly fond of Zeke. They ignore him, and he is always making jokes about sending them to military school.

Zeke has even gone over finances, and he says that, between my nursing salary and his unemployment check, we can easily afford military school for the boys. Then if I quit school, we could use the tuition money from my parents to bring his daughters to live with us and put them in a private school near our home.

On the one hand, I can see his point. The boys are completely out of control. They seem angry all the time, which is strange because they used to be sweet, happy children. On the other hand, I can't think how I would manage without them. I work all day then go to school at night. If it weren't for the boys, who would do the laundry, clean the house, cook dinner and take care of all those nagging little household repairs?

I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Confused

Chere Mlle. Confused,

Here is being the perfect example of the fellow who is NOT the ornament to your life. I am hoping very sincerely that he is the enormously pretty fellow because if he is not, then I am not understanding why you have not thrown him out onto the street and found for yourself the new lover.

M. Zeke, he is not the decent, honest gigolo who is making himself pleasant and charming to the family and the friends. Non, he is pretending that he is doing for you the big favor to be in love with you. Meanwhile, as you are working very hard to support him, he is getting rid of the inconvenient boys who are the rivals for his power and making room for the daughters so that he will not be having to pay any of the child supports.

Eh bien, always, I am hearing from les femmes, "Ce n'est pas possible. He is not having these thoughts. He is the poor, helpless one. If I am throwing him out, how will he eat? Where will he sleep? Who will be taking care of his children?"

Of course you are thinking this. You are not heartless. You are the very kind person. What you are not realizing is that M. Zeke, he will weep, and he will bluster, and he will make the very big noise. Then, when you are ignoring the big tantrum, he will go down the street to the house of your neighbor who has always been spiteful to you, and he will live with her.

Bon Chance, Mlle. Undecided. Do not worry. M. Zeke, he will be always landing on his feet.