Getting the Business

Dear Madame Toujours,

I have a problem. You see, I'm new in town, and I don't really know nobody. Then a couple of weeks ago I meet my new guy Stiffy. I really like Stiffy a lot, and it's really cool to have a man around again since my baby son Elvis' daddy run off and leave me. The thing is, Stiffy's buggin' me to loan him a couple hundred bucks. I don't have no money, but he says I can get it outa the register at the Quick-Shop where I work. He needs the money for this big business opportunity that he heard about from this guy he knows, and the owner of the Quick-Shop won't miss it. I said I was afraid I would get caught, but Stiffy says there is no way I can get caught, but even if I am, nobody will arrest me because I got nobody to look after little Elvis if I was in jail. Stiffy says I would know this if I had been smart enough to finish high-school, and I guess he is right. I was never very smart in school, and Stiffy knows a lot of things I never heard of.

I am sure Stiffy is a what-do-you-call-it: an ornament to my life. He is always telling me how I am the only one who understands him, and I know he cares about me, so he would never ask me to do anything that could get me in trouble. Anyway, Stiffy's been so sweet to me, I feel like I should help him. The thing is, Stiffy says says if his business thing works out, I will be in on the ground floor like an investor which would be really good because it's really hard to buy nice things on my income. I asked him if we should have like a contract, but Stiffy got real mad and says if his handshake isn't good enough, we aren't the friends he thought we are. I don't want to lose Stiffy, but isn't this really like a business thing? And shouldn't you have contracts and stuff like that for a business thing? What do you think?

Sincerely,

Gonna be a Businesswoman

Chere, Mlle. Businesswoman,

Bien sur, the contract, it is the very important detail. I am very pleased that you are thinking of it. However, you should be having the little bit more information before you are investing in M. Stiffy. For example, I am suggesting you should be asking to see the formal business proposal before you are investing the monies. Will the few hundred dollars be the sufficient capital? Are you the only investor? What exactly is the business that M. Stiffy is proposing? Is he considering all of the expenses: the overheads, the inventories, the bribes and kickbacks? Possibly, you are not feeling that you are knowing enough to understand these things. This is not the big problem. Find the lawyer or the accountant who is giving the free community services and ask him to look at the plan of M. Stiffy. He will tell you if this is the good investment.

Bon Chance, Mlle. Businesswoman. M. Stiffy may be wishing to consider that if he is marrying you, then nobody can be forcing you to testify against him in the courts.