Cool as I Wanna Be?

Dear Madame Toujours

I am a young man (early twenties) good looking, talented, cool hair. I am fairly successful with women, but lately, something has been really bugging me. It started a few weeks ago when I was playing at this really bitchin’ party (I am the leader a rock band). During the break, I was hitting on this really hot chick, you know, telling her all about my plans about being a rock star like Mick Jagger or Sting, when she, like, turned on me and said, "You know, you're not half as cool as you think you are."

I was stunned. Could she be right? Am I just an ordinary guy? I don't think I can live with this. What do you think?

Sincerely,
(Used to be a) Cool Guy

Cher M. Guy,

Ah the young love, the romance, the wooing. It is le plus difficile for the young people. I will tell you what is the mistake that you are making.

It is that you do not need to tell the woman how wonderful you are. She is seeing you playing the guitar. She is hearing you shriek out the words to the song. She is seeing that you have the cool hair. But she does not know how wonderful you are until you tell her how wonderful she is.

When the woman hears you say, "Your eyes are like the limpid pools, and your hair, it is like the goats leaping down the hillside, she says to herself, "This is the man with the wit, the perception, the good taste that he appreciates moi. He is wonderful, non?"

"But, Madame Toujours, ” you say, "How will I know that she is liking me if I do not tell her everything that is about myself?"

Me, I say if the woman is liking you, she will tell you herself. Perhaps you do not know when a woman, she is giving you the big praise. Many times, the men, they say to me, "Madame Toujours, the women they say the things that are strange. How do I know if it is the compliment?"

C'est simple. When the woman says, "Mostly the good-looking men, they are so conceited,” it is that she thinks you are the hunk.

When she says, "The men with the sense of fashion, they are so exciting,” it is that she admires your hair.

When she says, "The sensitive men, they are so attractive to me,” it is that she means, "You are the big musician who will be rich and famous like Mick Jagger and Sting."

Bon Chance, M. Guy